Jack White Attempts Strange Metaphoric Concert Record


Well, this is a fun continuation of our ongoing White Stripes experiment. Of course it’s only Jack White attempting a new world record as he voyages out in the wake of his new album Blunderbuss.

Here’s the news according to a press release that I received and chuckled through as I read the details of this strange metaphoric concert quest.

Jack White has again decided to take on the tremendous challenge of making it into the Guinness Book of World Records.

During the rest of the performances on his current tour supporting his new album “Blunderbuss” (which incidentally is currently in the running for the world record of “the fastest named album in history” *pending), Jack White will every night on stage attempt to break the world record for most metaphors in a single concert.

The attempt may prove very exhausting and at times even dangerous, but the results could prove to be glorious and possibly even vainglorious. White and Third Man Records are certain that the extremely scientific and intricate analysis of the metaphors that occur will be examined in accordance with Guinness’ usually very thorough methods probably, or at the very least if somebody answers the phone at the pub.

Third Man Records encourages all attendees of said concerts to please not interfere or interject with any metaphors that they witness occur during the show as to not disqualify or worse yet, trivialize the metaphor in question. In addition all concert attendees are encouraged to entice as many metaphors to occur during the show that they possibly can as long as they don’t endanger themselves or Mr. White.

Sounds like fun, right?

Well, for the most part it will be entertaining to watch this unfold.

But I think if audience participation is not encourage White will be missing out on an intriguing opportunity for concert fan crowdsourcing. And if fans are just observers and not participants in this strange quest then we might have another unfortunate Looky-Loos situation on our hands.

Jack White vs. Guinness

The other twist to the story is that this isn’t the first time that Jack White has tried to make Guinness World Records history with his live show.

As Pitchfork reports, back in 2007 The White Stripes attempted to set a record for the shortest concert ever with a one-note show. The attempt was captured in the excellent film Great White Northern Lights and here’s what happened back then:

“Ultimately they turned us down,” White told Aldrin, calling the Guinness organizers “elitist” and their decision arbitrary.

“There’s nothing scientific about what they do. They just have an office full of people who decide what is a record and what isn’t. I mean, there is some stuff like Olympic records where they have a committee. But most of the records in there-who has the biggest collection of salt-and-pepper shakers or whatever-are just whatever they want them to be. So with something like the shortest concert of all time, they didn’t think whatever we did was interesting enough to make it a record. I don’t know why they get to decide that, but, you know, they own the book . . . Maybe this will help us get the word out.”

Well, it seems that it did.

Guinness World Records have now explained their decision to NME. The White Stripes were, apparently, recognized for their accomplishment in a 2009 edition of the book. But then Guinness received a barrage of applications from other bands attempting to outdo the White Stripes. The organization realized that “the nature of competing to make something the ‘shortest’ by its very nature trivialises the activity being carried out,” they told NME. They decided to do away with a range of “shortest” categories, including shortest song, shortest poem, and shortest concert. Also adding to the decision, they told NME, was how different interpretations of what constitutes a “concert” made the category hard to work with.

All this said, White’s metaphoric quest seems more like a personal mission between him and Guinness, than a fun thing for him and fan’s to experience during the forth-coming tour. Either way, I’m sure it will be entertaining to see if White can pull it off and see if Guinness finally approves.

What do you think about White’s quest?

Were you at the one-note show? Would you want to help White with his metaphoric adventure? What would you do to make this a true artist and fan collaboration?

Rock on my friends and do share your concert experiences and thoughts in the comments below, so they can be included in a future episode of Live Fix Radio.

Jack White’s Tour Dates:

05/18-20/12 – Gulf Shores, AL – The Hangout Music Fest

05/19/12 – Asheville, NC – The Orange Peel +

05/21/12- NY, NY – Roseland Ballroom +

05/22/12 – NY, NY – Roseland Ballroom +

05/24/12 – Detroit, MI – Scottish Rite Theater +

05/24/12 – Detroit, MI – Scottish Rite Theater (all ages matinee show) +

05/26/12 – George, WA – Sasquatch Music Festival

05/27/12 – Vancouver, BC – Queen Elizabeth Theatre +

05/28/12 – Eugene, OR – Hult Center for the Performing Arts (Silva Concert Hall) +

05/30/12 – Los Angeles, CA – The Wiltern +

05/31/12 – Los Angeles, CA – The Wiltern +

06/21/12 – London, UK – O2 Academy Broxton +

06/22/12 – London, UK – Hammersmith Apollo +

06/23/12 – Hackney Marshes, London, UK – Radio 1’s Hackney Weekend

06/25/12 – Amsterdam, NL – Heineken Music Hall

06/26/12 – Berlin, Germany – Tempodrom

06/27/12 – Cologne, Germany – E-Werk +

06/29/12 -Werchter, Belgium – Rock Werchter

07/01/12 – Belfort, France – Les Eurockeennes

07/02/12 – Paris, France – L’Olympia +

07/03/12 – Paris, France – L’Olympia +

07/05/12 – Hamburg, Germany – Docks +

07/05-08/12 – Roskilde, Denmark – Roskilde Festival

07/20-22/12 – Dover, Delaware – Firefly Music Festival +

07/25/12 – Melbourne, Australia – Festival Hallm +

07/26/12 – Sydney, Australia – Hordern Pavillion +

07/27/12 – Byron Bay, Australia – Splendour In The Grass Festival +

07/27-29/12 – Niigata, Japan – Fuji Rock Festival +

08/03-05/12 – Chicago, IL – Lollapalooza

08/08/12 – Morrison, CO – Red Rocks Amphitheater

08/10-12/12 – San Francisco, CA – Outside Lands

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